Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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