They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize