the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
