Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
