its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
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He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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