epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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