Porn is love you can see.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
