Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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