The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
