"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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