How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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