In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
