what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize