8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
