i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
