My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment