Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Still dying that you shit outside
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.