So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
