Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
