Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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