smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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