Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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