we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
