i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
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that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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