My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
