We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize