He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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