I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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