guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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