found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goatâ€
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