i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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