PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
