yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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