so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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