Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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