Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
