I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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