So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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