i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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