He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
