At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm at about main and main street
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
