I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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