so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
