fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
