THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
