i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
