I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize