My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
