Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
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He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
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I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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