all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
