He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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