He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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