Have you finally orgasmed yet?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize