you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
