that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
