what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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