Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
