I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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